Author: Zandi Hamilton

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Starting Fresh: Writing After a Challenging Year

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything here and if you’ve been following this blog, you may have noticed the silence.

If you’re new here, welcome, I hope my words will resonate with you in some way.

This past year has been one of the most challenging periods of my life. As someone who writes about mental health, I’ve always tried to create a space for honesty and vulnerability. But when my mental health took a hit, I found myself unable to translate my feelings into words.

Writer’s block is often romanticised as a creative hurdle to overcome, but for me, it felt like a wall I couldn’t climb. A mix of fatigue, self-doubt, and simply not being well left me feeling stuck, I questioned whether my voice still mattered and whether my story was worth sharing.

But here’s the thing I’ve realized: silence can be its own story. It’s a space where we pause, reflect, and hopefully heal.

While I can’t say I have all the answers or that I’ve completely “bounced back,” I do know this: taking the first step, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.

So, here I am, breaking the silence. This post may not be perfect, but it’s a start. I want to use this moment to remind anyone else struggling with their mental health or creative endeavors that it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to rest and when you’re ready, it’s okay to begin again, even if that beginning feels fragile.

In the coming weeks, I hope to share more about what this year has taught me, the tools I’ve leaned on, and how I’m working to rebuild my confidence. But for now, I just want to say thank you—for being here, for your patience, and for reminding me that I’m not alone.

Here’s to taking small steps and finding strength in vulnerability.

Zandi

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Mental Health Poem

Mental health is not a choice
It does not care about your voice
Your age, your gender, your race, your faith,
It can affect you in any state

Mental health is not a flaw
It does not follow any law
It can be hidden or be seen
It can be mild or extreme

Mental health is not a shame
It does not deserve any blame
It can be treated with support
It can be healed with love and care

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You Don’t Look Depressed

There have been numerous times when I have heard this statement, you don’t look depressed or you don’t look like you struggle with anxiety or mental health problems; but what do depression and anxiety look like?

The general expectation of someone struggling with their mental health is that they would be always sad, angry, or crying but there is more than one look to mental health.

While some people may show that they are anxious or depressed, there is a greater percentage of people who are good at masking how they feel.

Here are some Reasons for hiding one’s mental health

  • Fear of experiencing negative responses to sharing about their mental health.

There is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health, especially in ethnic minorities. For one thing,  one may feel like it is a weakness to let people know that they have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and that they may be receiving treatment for it.

  • Not wanting to be a burden to loved ones or colleagues.

If one bears a responsibility to family or is in a senior position at work, they may not want their children or peers to know that they are struggling.

  • Feeling embarrassed to talk about what they are going through.

A lot of people that hide their mental health struggles are usually those who are strong for everyone.

They are the ones that always tell you to reach out to them when you need anything, so when they hit a rough patch, they are reluctant to disclose their feelings.

  • Feeling like they are being judged for being weak.

Some people feel that accepting you have a mental illness and taking medication for it may be perceived as a weakness.

 

While some people may show that they are going through stuff, there is a greater percentage of people who are good at masking how they feel.

What should we do then when someone shares that they have mental health problems? 

  • Listen to them without prejudice.
  • Ask them questions to show that you care.
  • Let them know you are there and ask how you can be of help.
  • Be patient and do not rush to give to voice your opinion.
  • Give them an opportunity to talk.
  • Try not to overwhelm them by giving too much advice.
  • Do not downplay their symptoms. It takes a lot for someone to trust you enough with that kind of information about themselves.
  • Give them space to process their feelings if they ask for it.
  • Encourage them to continue with their treatment as well as therapies if they have been prescribed them.

Help is available for all types of mental health problems, so no one should go through it alone. Mental health services are free on the NHS  (UK).

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/social-care-and-your-rights/how-to-access-mental-health-services

Photo cred: pexels-mwabonje-1820919.jpg

Image by Robert Ruggiero from Pixabay

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How To Cope With Loneliness

We all experiences loneliness from time to time, yet each person’s experience will be different. One way to describe loneliness is the feeling that we get when our needs for social contact aren’t satisfied.

There are people who choose to live alone and  be happy without much social contact with others; others might find this a lonely encounter. On the other hand, you might have lots of social contacts, or be in a relationship or part of a family and still feel lonely. It is especially difficult if you do not feel cared for or understood by those around you.

 

We all experience loneliness from time to time, it can be probematic if it develops into chronic loneliness.

 

Different Types of Loneliness

Emotional loneliness

This is when you experience bereavement, a relationship breakup, or someone you were very close with is no longer there. This could be a parent, partner, child, sibling, or close friend.

Social loneliness

Social loneliness can come about when you retire or change jobs, move to a new area or country and you feel like you’re lacking a wider social network of friends or colleagues.​​

Transient loneliness

This is when you experience a temporary change in circumstances, environment, or relationships. For example, if you are divorced and are co-parenting and the children must spend time with the other parent, you will feel lonely when the children are away for a weekend or holiday, and if you must self-isolate due to having symptoms or have Covid 19.

  • Situational loneliness– can occur because of short-term or permanent circumstances such as,

– race

– disabilities

– mental health

– gender

– sexual orientation

– divorce

– relocation

It is also common to struggle with situational loneliness on days or times when most people are with their families, for instance, birthdays, bank holidays, Sundays, and Christmases.

Chronic loneliness

Similar to transient loneliness, chronic loneliness can begin during an adjustment in a person’s state of affairs or environment, but it lingers on, and you feel lonely all or most of the time.

Mental Health Loneliness

Loneliness can ensue because of short-term or permanent struggles with mental health disorders and conditions such as PTSD, dementia, and bipolar disorder, to name a few.

How to cope with loneliness

Spend time with others by getting involved in activities within the community or consider volunteering.

 

There are some helpful things one person can do if they find themselves consumed with loneliness.

  • Evaluate why you might be lonely so that you may try to find the root of the problem.
  • Identify the outcome loneliness is having on your quality of life.
  • Recognize that loneliness is an indication that something needs to change for the better.
  • Contact a therapist or someone that can be trusted to have your best interests at heart.
  • Take time to nurture relationships with others in ways you’re comfortable with. It could be meeting face to face or online.
  • Find something that you enjoy doing and keep yourself occupied, it could be getting a pet if you have the time and means to do so or joining a gym.
  • Spend time with others by getting involved in activities within the community or consider volunteering.
  • Find a support group that meets your needs depending on your circumstances, if you’re struggling with situational loneliness, e.g., health-related, grief, or divorce.
  • Keep in mind that loneliness is not a reflection of you as an individual and that everybody deserves the best in life and that includes the connections that they have.

When to get help

There is help if loneliness is impacting your mental health. You can call a crisis helpline, reach out to a loved one, or call your local emergency room.

Loneliness can be problematic if it develops into chronic loneliness. If you continue having those feelings of loneliness, you may benefit from contacting a healthcare provider or mental health professional.

It would also be good to talk to someone if:

  • feelings of loneliness negatively affect your daily life or make it hard to do the things you want to do
  • you have a low mood or feelings of depression
  • you have symptoms of another mental health concern, such as anxiety or depression
  • physical health symptoms don’t go away after a few weeks, get worse, or affect your daily life

ARE YOU HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE?

It’s best to get help right away. You can call a crisis helpline, reach out to a loved one, or call your local emergency room. Below is a list of helpful numbers.

https://www.beyondtheshade.com/2021/03/04/depression-contact-list/

 

Sources:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/

https://www.marmaladetrust.org/lonelinessguide?

https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/chronic-loneliness

https://www.pexels.com/

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You Can Always Start Again

It’s the first day of 2022, Happy New  Year everybody!

2021 was not a good year for me, physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. After losing more close family during the year, my grief was so intense, I lost interest in the things that I loved and that kept me going.

I don’t remember the number of times that I sat down to write but couldn’t put the words together, or went shopping with the intention of cooking but ended up with a fridge full of food that is nearing or past its best before date, but end up opting for a takeaway instead.

 

I have spent so many months trying to fix things, overthinking a lot of stuff, and kicking myself for the things that I feel I could have done better, which didn’t do much to help with my mental health.

As always, I have a tendency of being really hard on myself, and as we were approaching the year, I spent some time in quiet reflection and decided that I was not going to be listing out any unrealistic new year’s resolutions but that I would start by being kind to myself and not commit myself to timelines which make me anxious when left incomplete.

Set realistic resolutions, don’t overwhelm yourself.

From time to time, I enjoy reading quotes and get a lot of inspiration from the ones that seem to relate to me depending on how I am feeling at the moment so when I saw this one “No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” – Buddha

For me, the past does not date back to years, it can be a week or a couple of days but it can set me back for months on end. My hope is to try to conquer each day that I wake and focus on the small victories which would be in the way of:

  • prioritising a shower, and tidying up personal space before undertaking any daily tasks.
  • folding the laundry and putting it away instead of leaving it in the basket until it creases.
  • checking and responding to emails, and emptying the junk mail so that I won’t have 10 000 of them to clear.
  • making sure that bills are paid before they start piling up.
  • reading something and writing even a few lines so that I won’t get out of sync
  • have small manageable to-do lists of tasks for each day
  • learn to identify and avoid my triggers to depression and seek support.
  • celebrating small wins, which includes being kind to myself if I don’t manage to tick all the boxes, knowing that I have a chance to start over the next day.

With the emerging coronavirus variants, it is still very important that we continue wearing our masks, avoiding crowds, maintaining social distancing, and isolating when we are feeling under the weather, have symptoms, or have tested positive.

Stay safe and have a fruitful, healthy 2022, and remember that no matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again.

 

 

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Dear Mums, You Don’t Have To be Perfect

 

I came across this quote and it made me think about the sacrifices parents make for their children, especially mothers.

“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” [Donna Ball, At Home on Ladybug Farm]

Every so often we do too much, take on more than we can or need to until we get to a point that we can no longer manage, and our mental and physical health starts to suffer.

When we take on too many projects than we can handle, we are left feeling anxious to meet the deadlines, burnt out from doing too much, and depressed that we couldn’t finish the tasks on time or didn’t manage to complete them at all.

Taking on too many  assignments leaves you overwhelmed

We need to know that it’s okay to take a break from the pressures of life, say no to invitations to the events that we don’t want to attend, and be selective about the activities we put ourselves up for.

Most of my friends are mothers who need to run their households, looking after kids, doing school runs, keeping social and health appointments, sports activities and some also work full time.

It’s hard work keeping up with social and medical appointments

By the time the stay-at-home mums drop the kids off at school, go back home and do the cleaning, pick up the shopping, it’s almost time to pick up the children from school again and make dinner.

The working parents have to manage their schedules to fit in with school dropoffs, picking up from babysitters or after-school clubs, go home and make dinner get the kids ready for bed, and do it all over again the next day.

Working mothers have to juggle work and childcare

Working overtime with no breaks and no time out to recharge for yourself is not good, but most mums feel that if they stop then it means that they are not good parents. It’s not the amount of time we spend with the kids that matters, it’s the amount of quality time we spend with them.

Sometimes even the partners are not aware of how much the mothers do on a daily basis. It is okay to ask for help, perhaps with cleaning once in a while or having a sitter come in and look after the kids for a few hours while you go to the gym, a walk, coffee with friends, or just to take a nap and have a rest.

It’s okay to ask for help

 

Here are a few tips to help you slow down

Enjoy the little time you have alone – don’t spend your time alone at home after dropping off kids at school feeling anxious about how they are getting on. The teachers are trained to look after the children during that time, instead, read a book or write a journal.

Read a book or write a journal

Make some time to unwind – if you have a few minutes to yourself, even 5 to 10 mins, you can close your eyes and use this time to practice mindfulness, meditate, take deep breaths and clear your thoughts.

Make some time to unwind

Take Walks – you can do this with your dog if you have one or with the children at a safe place where children can safely run around and get some fresh air. It is good for you and the children’s mental health and also helps them to sleep better at night.

Take walks

Take a Power Nap – A power nap can help you recharge. You don’t have to sleep for hours – just 30 minutes to an hour can help you feel rested and you can continue with your tasks.

Treat yourself to a relaxing bath – when you’re on a tight schedule it’s always quick showers and out of a house, so having a long warm bath feels like a treat. When the kids have settled in for the night, light some nice smelling candles, put some soothing bath salts and soak in a bubble bath. You will feel refreshed.

Treat yourself to a relaxing bath

 Watch what you eat – When you’re busy with the children and activities it is easy to eat on the hoof. Most mums will grab a chocolate bar and a coffee to go, on the way to pick up the kids from school and nibble on what the children are having for dinner and not make time for their own nutrition. That is also detrimental to overall wellbeing so it is very important to make time to prepare, sit and eat healthy meals.

Watch what you eat

 

To all the mothers out there, please do not find excuses that will keep you from taking a break. You do not have to be perfect, we become better parents when we are rested and happy, not when we are depressed and overwhelmed by our schedules and children. You do need to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, you deserve the break.

 

 

 

 

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8 Tips To Boost Your Mental Well-being

Your present way of life may not be helpful in keeping up your mental wellness. Generally, people are always rushing about, stressing about work and children and don’t leave much time for relaxation. Being active and doing things that boost psychological wellness can be an amazing method to advance the nature of your everyday life.

Apply these tips consistently:

Stay in touch with others.

Having solid and positive interactions with others has a significant impact on mental wellbeing. You will be less lonely when you communicate with other people.

Of late, it has been difficult to meet up with friends and families due to the lockdowns brought about by the Covid 19 pandemic, but you can make use of video calls phone calls.

Keep fit

The more unfit we are, the more our mental health suffers so it’s important to maintain our physical health so that our mental health improves.

With local gyms and recreational centres closed during the lockdown, coming out for a walk each day or every other day and getting some fresh air could be beneficial for mental health.

Consistently challenge yourself.

Try something new like cooking a dish you have never made, bake a cake, or simply declutter that drawer with plastic bags and takeaway menus that you have been meaning to throw out for several months. Set small goals and try to stick with them

Figure out how to manage pressure successfully.

Sometimes we do things that we think make us feel better but in essence, they make our situation worse. For instance, if you are a comfort eater, ordering a takeaway or digging into a tub of ice cream will leave you feeling worse off in the long term financially, and also when you gain weight you will not feel good about yourself.

Instead, it would help to try exercises like yoga and Pilates, meditate, chat to a mate or read.

Make time to help those in need

When you help other people and they are happy, you also feel good. It is also a way to keep in touch with other people.

You can volunteer to pick up groceries and prescriptions for vulnerable people and senior citizens during this lockdown.

Practice methods to calm your mind and get a good nights sleep

Because our minds are continually anxious; thinking, anticipating, and recollecting even when we don’t think that they are, we need to figure out how to control them.

Reflection, meditation, prayer, and mindfulness can help with figuring out how to calm down your brain. It might take a couple of attempts in light of the fact that our brains continue to stray and don’t have any desire to be calm but with daily practice, it can be achieved.

Normalise asking for help

 When you bruise your shin, you reach for plaster, when you break your arm you go to the hospital and when you are feeling physically sick it’s easy to ask for help but when one struggles with their mental health it’s not so easy to reach out for help.

Asking for help is hard and might take a lot out of you but it is not a weakness. You can speak to a trusted family member, church member, teacher or call NHS 111 and Samaritans 116 123.

Keep a diary.

Keeping a diary is a good way to not only record your feelings and thoughts but can improve your ability to think critically. You could record events of your day, plan ahead for future events and journal your feelings.

When you have a diary and keep a to-do list, it helps alleviate procrastination and you can tick off the tasks as you go along and not forget what you wanted to do on a particular day.

It is also a good way to record your feelings, on good days you can write about how you feel and what made you feel good and on bad days write about what upset you or made your day not as expected.

Mental and physical health is essential to everyone’s well-being. When we are unwell for long periods of time it starts to affect our ability to be good parents, partners, friends, or employees. These tips are good guidelines on how we can manage our day-to-day lives but when you consistently feel low it is best to see your GP or contact some mental health helplines for more information on where to get help.

 

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

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Depression – Contact List

It’s not unusual to feel sad or miserable every so often but if your mood stays persistently low for weeks at a time and disrupts your life, it could be a sign of depression.

This information is for anyone who is or has been depressed. We hope it will also be helpful for friends and relatives.  It describes what depression feels like, some of the help that is available, how you can help yourself and how to help someone else who is depressed. It also mentions some of the things we don’t know about depression. At the end of the leaflet, there is a list of other places where you can get further information.

The Mental Health Foundation

mentalhealth.org.uk

Coronavirus – How to look after your mental health

Visiting your GP

Depression Leaflet

We believe it is important to involve the people who use mental health services and their carers in our work. We want to support them to have their say on the way that services are run, as well as to use their experiences to inform our thinking.

RETHINK

Helpline: 0300 5000 927

rethink.org

Working together to help everyone affected by severe mental illness recover a better quality of life.

Time to Change

time-to-change.org.uk

Time to Change is England’s most ambitious programme to end discrimination faced by people who experience mental health problems.  Our vision is to make lives better for everyone by ending mental health discrimination and to inspire people to work together to end the discrimination surrounding mental health.

Mind

MindInfoline:  0300 123 3393

mind.org.uk

Coronavirus and your wellbeing

Depression & Anxiety

Side by side – online support community

The MindinfoLine offers thousands of callers confidential help on a range of mental health issues.  Mind helps people take control of their mental health. We do this by providing high-quality information and advice and campaigning to promote and protect good mental health for everyone. They also provide a special legal service to the public, lawyers and mental health workers.

Breathing Space (Scotland)

Helpline: 0800 83 85 87

breathingspace.scot

Sometimes our thoughts and feelings can overwhelm us.  It helps to get some Breathing Space.  Pick up the phone – we’re here to listen.  We are a free, confidential, phone service for anyone in Scotland over the age of 16 experiencing low mood, depression or anxiety.

SAMH (Scottish Association for Mental Health)

Information Service: 0141 530 1000

samh.org.uk

Coronavirus and your mental wellbeing

Today, in over 60 communities we work with adults and young people providing mental health social care support, services in primary care, schools and further education, among others.  These services together with our national programme work in See Me, respectme, suicide prevention and active living; inform our policy and campaign work to influence positive social change.

Support in Mind Scotland

Information: 0131 662 4359

supportinmindscotland.org.uk

Our aim is to improve the quality of life for anyone whose mental health problems or mental illness has a serious impact on their life and on the lives of others, including family members, friends and supporters.  We believe anyone affected by mental health issues deserves compassionate and expert support.

Bi-Polar UK

Tel: 0333 323 3880

bipolaruk.org.uk

BiPolar UK is a user-led charity working to enable people affected by Bipolar disorder / manic depression to take control of their lives.

Saneline

0300 304 7000

sane.org.uk

SANEline is a national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering emotional support and information for people affected by mental health problems.

Moodjuice

Depression

The site is designed to offer information, advice to those experiencing troublesome thoughts, feelings and actions. From the site, you are able to print off various self-help guides covering conditions such as depression, anxiety, stress, panic and sleep problems.

Be Mindful

bemindful.co.uk

Mindfulness is a mind-body approach to well-being that can help you change the way you think about experiences and reduce stress and anxiety.  Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to the present moment, using techniques like meditation, breathing and yoga. It helps us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings so that instead of being overwhelmed by them, we’re better able to manage them.  Practising mindfulness can give people more insight into their emotions, boost their attention and concentration and improve relationships. It’s proven to help with stress, anxiety, depression and addictive behaviours, and can even have a positive effect on physical problems like hypertension, heart disease and chronic pain.

Shout

Text Shout to 85258

giveusashout.org

Shout is the UK’s first free 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. It’s a place to go if you’re struggling to cope and you need immediate help.

ChildLine

Helpline: 0800 11 11

childline.org.uk

ChildLine is a counselling service for children and young people.  You can contact ChildLine in these ways:  You can phone on 0800 1111, send us an email, have a 1-2-1 chat with us, send a message to Ask Sam and you can post messages to the ChildLine message boards.  You can contact ChildLine about anything – no problem is too big or too small.  If you are feeling scared or out of control or just want to talk to someone you can contact ChildLine.

Young Minds

Helpline: 0808 802 5544

youngminds.org.uk

What to do if you’re anxious about Coronavirus

Talking to your child about coronavirus

Parents’ Information Service gives advice to parents or carers who may be concerned about the mental health or emotional well being of a child or young person.

Kooth.com

kooth.com

Kooth.com is an online counselling service that provides vulnerable young people, between the ages of 11 and 25, with advice and support for emotional or mental health problems.  Kooth.com offers users a free, confidential, safe and anonymous way to access help.

The Mix

Helpline: 0808 808 4994

themix.org.uk

Coronavirus

Depression

Mental Health

Life’s tough, we know that. It can throw a lot your way and make it hard to know what the hell to do with it all.  So, welcome to The Mix. Whether you’re 13, 25, or any age in between, we’re here to take on the embarrassing problems, weird questions, and please-don’t-make-me-say-it-out-loud thoughts you have. We give you the information and support you need to deal with it all.  Because you can.  Because you’re awesome.  We’ll connect you to experts and your peers who’ll give you the support and tools you need to take on any challenge you’re facing – for everything from homelessness to finding a job, from money to mental health, from break-ups to drugs.  We’re a free and confidential multi-channel service. That means that you choose how you access our support, without the worry of anyone else finding out. Whether it be through our articles and video content online or our phone, email, peer to peer and counselling services – we put the control in your hands. You can even volunteer with us too.

Papyrus

HOPELINEUK – 0800 068 4141

papyrus-uk.org

Worried about someone…

Support for anyone under 35 experiencing thoughts of suicide, or anyone concerned that a young person may be experiencing thoughts of suicide.

Students Against Depression

studentdepression.org Developed in consultation with students who have been affected by depression, low mood or suicidal thoughts. Many of their stories and suggestions are included on the site. 

Campaign Against Living MiserablyHelpline: 0800 58 58 58

thecalmzone.net The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) works to prevent male suicide and offers support services for any man who is struggling or in crisis.  CALM’s helpline 0800 58 58 58 and web-chat are for men in the UK who need to talk or find information and support. The services are open 5 pm -midnight daily and are free, anonymous and confidential. For access or to find more information visit thecalmzone.net

SOS Silence of Suicide

For support call:  0300 1020 505 (midday to midnight daily)

We support everyone affected by suicide, whether they be bereaved, having thoughts of suicide, or have attempted suicide.

Everyone is vulnerable, especially right now when the world as we know it has changed, bringing mental health fragilities to those who have never before experienced them and an escalation of poor mental health for vulnerable people who were already struggling.

The shame, stigma and silence that surrounds not just suicide, but mental health generally, is something we are passionate about changing.  No one should feel judged.  No one should feel awkward.  No one should feel isolated, we will continue to support everyone and anyone who needs our help.

Depression UK

depressionuk.org

The mission of Depression UK is to promote mutual support between individuals affected by or at risk from depression, with the aim of encouraging self-help, recovery and personal growth.   We believe our members are helped when they share their problems with fellow sufferers because they understand, better than any non-depressed professional or carer can ever do, what it really feels like to suffer from depression. These members can then share their thoughts, feelings, hopes, disappointments and successes, and in so doing offer mutual support to each other.

OvercomeDepression.co.uk

overcomedepression.co.uk

Offers a unique and clear reference point on depression help and advice from experts in the field.

Samaritans Tel: 116 123 (Free)

samaritans.org

Whatever you’re going through, we’re here to help 24 hours a day.  We won’t judge you and we won’t share what you tell us with anyone else.  Get in touch by telephone, email, letter and face to face in the UK and Ireland.  Visit befrienders.org if you live outside the UK or Ireland.

 

Info compiled at

ncmh.info

mentalhealth.org.uk

 

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There Should Be No Shame in Taking Antidepressants

We have all experienced feeling unwell at some point in our lives. When one has a headache, they reach for an aspirin or paracetamol, grab a Gaviscon tablet for acid reflux and carry their insulin to manage their blood sugar when they need to.

We don’t think twice about reaching for paracetamol when we have a headache.

Anyone diagnosed with a long-term illness has to rely on regular medications for relief as prescribed by their doctors and are grateful for the reprieve that the medication brings to them.

In the UK, 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year and 1 in 6 people report undergoing a common mental health problem such as anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder in any given week but antidepressants are not spoken of as liberally as other medications.

There is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health to begin with, so it becomes a sensitive topic when someone has to start taking antidepressants for a mental illness or to let family and friends know about their diagnosis.

 

Here are some of the reasons why people who are struggling with mental health problems may not want to take antidepressants:

  • The fear of side effects deters people from taking antidepressants. There is a lot of negative talk regarding the potential side effects of antidepressants and some people believe that the medication will make them worse 

 

  • The cost of the medication may prevent a person suffering with mental health problems from obtaining repeat prescriptions for their antidepressants 

 

  • The fear of being labelled a pill popper, lazy, and mad by their peers and families 

 

  • Some people are not good at taking medication, they forget or miss doses, and some expect faster results so may stop taking the antidepressants before they kick in and then say that the medication is not working 

 

  • There is always a worry that one may become too dependent on antidepressants and not be able to function without them or that their problems could be accelerated because of taking the medication, so some people avoid taking their antidepressants.

 

We are surrounded by different types of people. Some are kind and sympathetic to those struggling and some can’t hide their annoyance when someone is open about their mental illness.

That causes a lot of people who have mental health problems to hide their illness and end up not taking their medication but there should be no shame in anyone taking their prescribed medication.

It is also important for people that are struggling with mental health illnesses to take their medications directly as prescribed by their doctor and not combine it with any other medication or substances in order to treat their symptoms correctly and to help them manage or overcome their problems.

When antidepressants are not used properly, they can result in unpleasant side effects, longer recovery, worsened health, substance abuse disorders, or even loss of life.

Here are some useful tips for taking your antidepressants:

  • Always try to keep an up to date list of your medications so that doctors do not prescribe antidepressants that counteract with your other medications

 

  • Make sure to check whether your antidepressants can be taken on an empty stomach, with food, or after food

 

  • Create a routine so that you don’t forget to take your antidepressants and take them at the same time daily to avoid overlapping your doses

 

  • Use a clear pill organiser with labels for the times and days of the week to help you keep track of your daily medication doses

 

  • Do not share your antidepressants with other people and do not double up on a dosage if for any reason you have missed your medication

 

  • Do not take other people’s medication and reduce your intake of alcohol and other stimulants while on antidepressants

 

  • Travel with extra medication when visiting family and friends in case you stay for longer than you had planned

 

  • Pack all your prescribed medications in your carry-on case if you are flying for safety in the event that your luggage gets lost and to protect them from damage

 

  • Do not go off your antidepressants cold turkey as that has more detrimental effects to your physical and mental health. Follow the directions of your doctor when you need to increase, reduce or stop taking the medication 

 

As with all medications, there is no one size fits all approach to treating symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health illnesses. All antidepressants carry a suicide warning and can cause different reactions to the people taking them. At least 50 percent of people who take antidepressants report excessive weight loss, weight gain, loss of libido but the benefits and the improved quality of life that the antidepressants can provide, outweighs its risks.

 

Some people may also choose to treat their depression and anxiety symptoms using holistic treatments such as exercise, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, hypnosis, and natural supplements such as Multi-Vitamins with B6 and minerals, Omega-3 fatty acids, probiotics, and Vitamin D-3.

Some people opt for holistic practices such as exercise and vitamins.

There are many different views on how antidepressants work, however they are considered to be an important part of treating depression as they relieve the symptoms, help with emotional balance, and reduce the chances that they may come back.

 

People have referred to antidepressants as happy pills, but they do not make you happy. They do not instantly make you cheerful, but when you are prescribed with a combination that works for you, they allow you to perform better and engage in the things that will bring you happiness.

 

It is not recommended to stop taking any antidepressants abruptly as it can cause withdrawals such as severe depression, digestion problems, and sleeping problems. Only start weaning off your medications under the supervision of your doctor.

 

 

 

 

Posted on

Lockdown and Losing a Loved One

About 6 months ago I wrote an upbeat post at the beginning of the lockdown. I thought it would be an easy few weeks, working from home, shopping online, and not having to rush anywhere. A lot of us thought that it would pass quickly.

As I settled into lockdown and watched the infection and morbidity rates going up daily, panic started setting in. There was a national fear of food shortages and people were clearing out the shelves in the shops until they started rationing how many products each person could buy.

Our hospital, doctors, and dentist appointments were postponed or getting canceled to keep the facilities available for people who have been affected by Covid19.

Events were cancelled, churches and schools closed, so most parents had to home school their children, work meetings, and church were done via Zoom videos. We started coming to terms with our new normal, masks when out in public, no eating out, not seeing friends and family that didn’t live with us.

Our new normal                                                                [Image by Queven from Pixabay]
What I wasn’t prepared for during that time was my partner having a cardiac arrest and having to administer CPR to him to try and save his life.

Everything happened so quickly, I don’t even know how long I was doing CPR for, from the time I called 999 to when the paramedics came in and it was terrifying to see them come in wearing full hazmat suits because of the risk of Covid19.

I was allowed to go with him to the hospital, and the nurses gave me an apron, gloves, a mask to put on. It was so hot and claustrophobic under all the protective wear but all the safety precautions needed to be done.

My partner remained unresponsive, and he made a terrible gurgling sound which I have now learned is called the ‘death rattle’, it was such a hard noise to listen to as I was informed that these were his last hours and while it was uncomfortable for me to watch, he was unconscious and not in pain, even though it looked like he was.

Masks while essential, make it difficult to convey a message or show sympathy [Image by Cico Zeljko from Pixabay]
I had the doctors come and talk to me and it felt so impersonal, having a conversation about someone’s end of life when all I could see were their eyes. The masks, while essential, take away the emotion and compassion that one may be trying to convey.

I was crippled with fear and  I kept hoping he would pull through. I never thought that in my lifetime I would have to stand by and watch a loved one slip away. I prayed for a miracle even though I knew the chances of him having a full recovery were slim.

I was sent home and told to expect the worst within about 48 hours, most of which I spent on autopilot. My family is scattered all over the world and they tried their best to support via text, phone, and Whatsapp but I was too distressed to speak.

As I was leaving home for the hospital the next day, I got the call to say that he had passed away. I can’t even begin to describe what I felt at that moment, it was a lot!

It didn’t help that we were still on lockdown and I couldn’t even have a relative come over to help out due to being in isolation as I had spent time with my partner at the hospital.

Once people got the news, the phone calls started coming in. Some were from well-meaning people passing their condolences but some, I felt,  got rather intrusive and asking personal questions – like,  ‘was it COVID19?’, ‘did he have a will?’, ‘was the house in both your names?’ and ‘did he have life insurance?’.

I realised that I was trying too hard to talk to everyone that reached out to me and I was starting to feel overwhelmed with all the attention I was getting. When I mentioned that to a friend she said “you don’t need to answer all the phone calls or respond to the text messages straight away. People will understand that you’re having a tough time.” That brought a bit of relief to me.

I wanted to talk to everyone that called me

It has been 17 weeks since he passed away and I have been on an emotional roller coaster since then. I lost all my coping mechanisms, lost my zest for life and while I had been making progress and weaning off antidepressants, I now needed to have them increased.

While I had been on a good routine of eating well and exercising pre-lockdown, I started to comfort eat to numb my feelings of loneliness, grief, fear, sadness, and lack of sleep.

I used to have someone to encourage me, laugh with, eat with, and make plans with so it’s daunting to think of life on my own. Now I’m thinking of Christmas and the lockdown restrictions we are facing again and knowing that I can’t even visit my family in South Africa makes me sadder.

I am taking one day at a time and learning that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, that its okay to cry, and that there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loved one. There are no set timelines on grief but I know that it gets better with time even though some days I wake up and the memory is as fresh as though it has just happened.