It’s been a while since I’ve written anything here and if you’ve been following this blog, you may have noticed the silence.
If you’re new here, welcome, I hope my words will resonate with you in some way.
This past year has been one of the most challenging periods of my life. As someone who writes about mental health, I’ve always tried to create a space for honesty and vulnerability. But when my mental health took a hit, I found myself unable to translate my feelings into words.
Writer’s block is often romanticised as a creative hurdle to overcome, but for me, it felt like a wall I couldn’t climb. A mix of fatigue, self-doubt, and simply not being well left me feeling stuck, I questioned whether my voice still mattered and whether my story was worth sharing.
But here’s the thing I’ve realized: silence can be its own story. It’s a space where we pause, reflect, and hopefully heal.
While I can’t say I have all the answers or that I’ve completely “bounced back,” I do know this: taking the first step, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.
So, here I am, breaking the silence. This post may not be perfect, but it’s a start. I want to use this moment to remind anyone else struggling with their mental health or creative endeavors that it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to rest and when you’re ready, it’s okay to begin again, even if that beginning feels fragile.
In the coming weeks, I hope to share more about what this year has taught me, the tools I’ve leaned on, and how I’m working to rebuild my confidence. But for now, I just want to say thank you—for being here, for your patience, and for reminding me that I’m not alone.
Here’s to taking small steps and finding strength in vulnerability.
There have been numerous times when I have heard this statement, you don’t look depressed or you don’t look like you struggle with anxiety or mental health problems; but what do depression and anxiety look like?
The general expectation of someone struggling with their mental health is that they would be always sad, angry, or crying but there is more than one look to mental health.
While some people may show that they are anxious or depressed, there is a greater percentage of people who are good at masking how they feel.
Here are some Reasons for hiding one’s mental health
Fear of experiencing negative responses to sharing about their mental health.
There is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health, especially in ethnic minorities. For one thing, one may feel like it is a weakness to let people know that they have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and that they may be receiving treatment for it.
Not wanting to be a burden to loved ones or colleagues.
If one bears a responsibility to family or is in a senior position at work, they may not want their children or peers to know that they are struggling.
Feeling embarrassed to talk about what they are going through.
A lot of people that hide their mental health struggles are usually those who are strong for everyone.
They are the ones that always tell you to reach out to them when you need anything, so when they hit a rough patch, they are reluctant to disclose their feelings.
Feeling like they are being judged for being weak.
Some people feel that accepting you have a mental illness and taking medication for it may be perceived as a weakness.
While some people may show that they are going through stuff, there is a greater percentage of people who are good at masking how they feel.
What should we do then when someone shares that they have mental health problems?
Listen to them without prejudice.
Ask them questions to show that you care.
Let them know you are there and ask how you can be of help.
Be patient and do not rush to give to voice your opinion.
Give them an opportunity to talk.
Try not to overwhelm them by giving too much advice.
Do not downplay their symptoms. It takes a lot for someone to trust you enough with that kind of information about themselves.
Give them space to process their feelings if they ask for it.
Encourage them to continue with their treatment as well as therapies if they have been prescribed them.
Help is available for all types of mental health problems, so no one should go through it alone. Mental health services are free on the NHS (UK).
We all experiences loneliness from time to time, yet each person’s experience will be different. One way to describe loneliness is the feeling that we get when our needs for social contact aren’t satisfied.
There are people who choose to live alone and be happy without much social contact with others; others might find this a lonely encounter. On the other hand, you might have lots of social contacts, or be in a relationship or part of a family and still feel lonely. It is especially difficult if you do not feel cared for or understood by those around you.
We all experience loneliness from time to time, it can be probematic if it develops into chronic loneliness.
Different Types of Loneliness
Emotional loneliness
This is when you experience bereavement, a relationship breakup, or someone you were very close with is no longer there. This could be a parent, partner, child, sibling, or close friend.
Social loneliness
Social loneliness can come about when you retire or change jobs, move to a new area or country and you feel like you’re lacking a wider social network of friends or colleagues.
Transient loneliness
This is when you experience a temporary change in circumstances, environment, or relationships. For example, if you are divorced and are co-parenting and the children must spend time with the other parent, you will feel lonely when the children are away for a weekend or holiday, and if you must self-isolate due to having symptoms or have Covid 19.
Situational loneliness– can occur because of short-term or permanent circumstances such as,
– race
– disabilities
– mental health
– gender
– sexual orientation
– divorce
– relocation
It is also common to struggle with situational loneliness on days or times when most people are with their families, for instance, birthdays, bank holidays, Sundays, and Christmases.
Chronic loneliness
Similar to transient loneliness, chronic loneliness can begin during an adjustment in a person’s state of affairs or environment, but it lingers on, and you feel lonely all or most of the time.
Mental Health Loneliness
Loneliness can ensue because of short-term or permanent struggles with mental health disorders and conditions such as PTSD, dementia, and bipolar disorder, to name a few.
How to cope with loneliness
Spend time with others by getting involved in activities within the community or consider volunteering.
There are some helpful things one person can do if they find themselves consumed with loneliness.
Evaluate why you might be lonely so that you may try to find the root of the problem.
Identify the outcome loneliness is having on your quality of life.
Recognize that loneliness is an indication that something needs to change for the better.
Contact a therapist or someone that can be trusted to have your best interests at heart.
Take time to nurture relationships with others in ways you’re comfortable with. It could be meeting face to face or online.
Find something that you enjoy doing and keep yourself occupied, it could be getting a pet if you have the time and means to do so or joining a gym.
Spend time with others by getting involved in activities within the community or consider volunteering.
Find a support group that meets your needs depending on your circumstances, if you’re struggling with situational loneliness, e.g., health-related, grief, or divorce.
Keep in mind that loneliness is not a reflection of you as an individual and that everybody deserves the best in life and that includes the connections that they have.
When to get help
There is help if loneliness is impacting your mental health. You can call a crisis helpline, reach out to a loved one, or call your local emergency room.
Loneliness can be problematic if it develops into chronic loneliness. If you continue having those feelings of loneliness, you may benefit from contacting a healthcare provider or mental health professional.
It would also be good to talk to someone if:
feelings of loneliness negatively affect your daily life or make it hard to do the things you want to do
you have a low mood or feelings of depression
you have symptoms of another mental health concern, such as anxiety or depression
physical health symptoms don’t go away after a few weeks, get worse, or affect your daily life
ARE YOU HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE?
It’s best to get help right away. You can call a crisis helpline, reach out to a loved one, or call your local emergency room. Below is a list of helpful numbers.
I came across this quote and it made me think about the sacrifices parents make for their children, especially mothers.
“Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” [Donna Ball, At Home on Ladybug Farm]
Every so often we do too much, take on more than we can or need to until we get to a point that we can no longer manage, and our mental and physical health starts to suffer.
When we take on too many projects than we can handle, we are left feeling anxious to meet the deadlines, burnt out from doing too much, and depressed that we couldn’t finish the tasks on time or didn’t manage to complete them at all.
Taking on too many assignments leaves you overwhelmed
We need to know that it’s okay to take a break from the pressures of life, say no to invitations to the events that we don’t want to attend, and be selective about the activities we put ourselves up for.
Most of my friends are mothers who need to run their households, looking after kids, doing school runs, keeping social and health appointments, sports activities and some also work full time.
It’s hard work keeping up with social and medical appointments
By the time the stay-at-home mums drop the kids off at school, go back home and do the cleaning, pick up the shopping, it’s almost time to pick up the children from school again and make dinner.
The working parents have to manage their schedules to fit in with school dropoffs, picking up from babysitters or after-school clubs, go home and make dinner get the kids ready for bed, and do it all over again the next day.
Working mothers have to juggle work and childcare
Working overtime with no breaks and no time out to recharge for yourself is not good, but most mums feel that if they stop then it means that they are not good parents. It’s not the amount of time we spend with the kids that matters, it’s the amount of quality time we spend with them.
Sometimes even the partners are not aware of how much the mothers do on a daily basis. It is okay to ask for help, perhaps with cleaning once in a while or having a sitter come in and look after the kids for a few hours while you go to the gym, a walk, coffee with friends, or just to take a nap and have a rest.
It’s okay to ask for help
Here are a few tips to help you slow down
Enjoy the little time you have alone – don’t spend your time alone at home after dropping off kids at school feeling anxious about how they are getting on. The teachers are trained to look after the children during that time, instead, read a book or write a journal.
Read a book or write a journal
Make some time to unwind – if you have a few minutes to yourself, even 5 to 10 mins, you can close your eyes and use this time to practice mindfulness, meditate, take deep breaths and clear your thoughts.
Make some time to unwind
Take Walks – you can do this with your dog if you have one or with the children at a safe place where children can safely run around and get some fresh air. It is good for you and the children’s mental health and also helps them to sleep better at night.
Take walks
Take a Power Nap – A power nap can help you recharge. You don’t have to sleep for hours – just 30 minutes to an hour can help you feel rested and you can continue with your tasks.
Treat yourself to a relaxing bath – when you’re on a tight schedule it’s always quick showers and out of a house, so having a long warm bath feels like a treat. When the kids have settled in for the night, light some nice smelling candles, put some soothing bath salts and soak in a bubble bath. You will feel refreshed.
Treat yourself to a relaxing bath
Watch what you eat – When you’re busy with the children and activities it is easy to eat on the hoof. Most mums will grab a chocolate bar and a coffee to go, on the way to pick up the kids from school and nibble on what the children are having for dinner and not make time for their own nutrition. That is also detrimental to overall wellbeing so it is very important to make time to prepare, sit and eat healthy meals.
Watch what you eat
To all the mothers out there, please do not find excuses that will keep you from taking a break. You do not have to be perfect, we become better parents when we are rested and happy, not when we are depressed and overwhelmed by our schedules and children. You do need to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, you deserve the break.
Your present way of life may not be helpful in keeping up your mental wellness. Generally, people are always rushing about, stressing about work and children and don’t leave much time for relaxation. Being active and doing things that boost psychological wellness can be an amazing method to advance the nature of your everyday life.
Apply these tips consistently:
Stay in touch with others.
Having solid and positive interactions with others has a significant impact on mental wellbeing. You will be less lonely when you communicate with other people.
Of late, it has been difficult to meet up with friends and families due to the lockdowns brought about by the Covid 19 pandemic, but you can make use of video calls phone calls.
Keep fit
The more unfit we are, the more our mental health suffers so it’s important to maintain our physical health so that our mental health improves.
With local gyms and recreational centres closed during the lockdown, coming out for a walk each day or every other day and getting some fresh air could be beneficial for mental health.
Consistently challenge yourself.
Try something new like cooking a dish you have never made, bake a cake, or simply declutter that drawer with plastic bags and takeaway menus that you have been meaning to throw out for several months. Set small goals and try to stick with them
Figure out how to manage pressure successfully.
Sometimes we do things that we think make us feel better but in essence, they make our situation worse. For instance, if you are a comfort eater, ordering a takeaway or digging into a tub of ice cream will leave you feeling worse off in the long term financially, and also when you gain weight you will not feel good about yourself.
Instead, it would help to try exercises like yoga and Pilates, meditate, chat to a mate or read.
Make time to help those in need
When you help other people and they are happy, you also feel good. It is also a way to keep in touch with other people.
You can volunteer to pick up groceries and prescriptions for vulnerable people and senior citizens during this lockdown.
Practice methods to calm your mind and get a good nights sleep
Because our minds are continually anxious; thinking, anticipating, and recollecting even when we don’t think that they are, we need to figure out how to control them.
Reflection, meditation, prayer, and mindfulness can help with figuring out how to calm down your brain. It might take a couple of attempts in light of the fact that our brains continue to stray and don’t have any desire to be calm but with daily practice, it can be achieved.
Normalise asking for help
When you bruise your shin, you reach for plaster, when you break your arm you go to the hospital and when you are feeling physically sick it’s easy to ask for help but when one struggles with their mental health it’s not so easy to reach out for help.
Asking for help is hard and might take a lot out of you but it is not a weakness. You can speak to a trusted family member, church member, teacher or call NHS 111 and Samaritans 116 123.
Keep a diary.
Keeping a diary is a good way to not only record your feelings and thoughts but can improve your ability to think critically. You could record events of your day, plan ahead for future events and journal your feelings.
When you have a diary and keep a to-do list, it helps alleviate procrastination and you can tick off the tasks as you go along and not forget what you wanted to do on a particular day.
It is also a good way to record your feelings, on good days you can write about how you feel and what made you feel good and on bad days write about what upset you or made your day not as expected.
Mental and physical health is essential to everyone’s well-being. When we are unwell for long periods of time it starts to affect our ability to be good parents, partners, friends, or employees. These tips are good guidelines on how we can manage our day-to-day lives but when you consistently feel low it is best to see your GP or contact some mental health helplines for more information on where to get help.
About 6 months ago I wrote an upbeat post at the beginning of the lockdown. I thought it would be an easy few weeks, working from home, shopping online, and not having to rush anywhere. A lot of us thought that it would pass quickly.
As I settled into lockdown and watched the infection and morbidity rates going up daily, panic started setting in. There was a national fear of food shortages and people were clearing out the shelves in the shops until they started rationing how many products each person could buy.
Our hospital, doctors, and dentist appointments were postponed or getting canceled to keep the facilities available for people who have been affected by Covid19.
Events were cancelled, churches and schools closed, so most parents had to home school their children, work meetings, and church were done via Zoom videos. We started coming to terms with our new normal, masks when out in public, no eating out, not seeing friends and family that didn’t live with us.
Our new normal [Image by Queven from Pixabay]What I wasn’t prepared for during that time was my partner having a cardiac arrest and having to administer CPR to him to try and save his life.
Everything happened so quickly, I don’t even know how long I was doing CPR for, from the time I called 999 to when the paramedics came in and it was terrifying to see them come in wearing full hazmat suits because of the risk of Covid19.
I was allowed to go with him to the hospital, and the nurses gave me an apron, gloves, a mask to put on. It was so hot and claustrophobic under all the protective wear but all the safety precautions needed to be done.
My partner remained unresponsive, and he made a terrible gurgling sound which I have now learned is called the ‘death rattle’, it was such a hard noise to listen to as I was informed that these were his last hours and while it was uncomfortable for me to watch, he was unconscious and not in pain, even though it looked like he was.
Masks while essential, make it difficult to convey a message or show sympathy [Image by Cico Zeljko from Pixabay]I had the doctors come and talk to me and it felt so impersonal, having a conversation about someone’s end of life when all I could see were their eyes. The masks, while essential, take away the emotion and compassion that one may be trying to convey.
I was crippled with fear and I kept hoping he would pull through. I never thought that in my lifetime I would have to stand by and watch a loved one slip away. I prayed for a miracle even though I knew the chances of him having a full recovery were slim.
I was sent home and told to expect the worst within about 48 hours, most of which I spent on autopilot. My family is scattered all over the world and they tried their best to support via text, phone, and Whatsapp but I was too distressed to speak.
As I was leaving home for the hospital the next day, I got the call to say that he had passed away. I can’t even begin to describe what I felt at that moment, it was a lot!
It didn’t help that we were still on lockdown and I couldn’t even have a relative come over to help out due to being in isolation as I had spent time with my partner at the hospital.
Once people got the news, the phone calls started coming in. Some were from well-meaning people passing their condolences but some, I felt, got rather intrusive and asking personal questions – like, ‘was it COVID19?’, ‘did he have a will?’, ‘was the house in both your names?’ and ‘did he have life insurance?’.
I realised that I was trying too hard to talk to everyone that reached out to me and I was starting to feel overwhelmed with all the attention I was getting. When I mentioned that to a friend she said “you don’t need to answer all the phone calls or respond to the text messages straight away. People will understand that you’re having a tough time.” That brought a bit of relief to me.
I wanted to talk to everyone that called me
It has been 17 weeks since he passed away and I have been on an emotional roller coaster since then. I lost all my coping mechanisms, lost my zest for life and while I had been making progress and weaning off antidepressants, I now needed to have them increased.
While I had been on a good routine of eating well and exercising pre-lockdown, I started to comfort eat to numb my feelings of loneliness, grief, fear, sadness, and lack of sleep.
I used to have someone to encourage me, laugh with, eat with, and make plans with so it’s daunting to think of life on my own. Now I’m thinking of Christmas and the lockdown restrictions we are facing again and knowing that I can’t even visit my family in South Africa makes me sadder.
I am taking one day at a time and learning that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, that its okay to cry, and that there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loved one. There are no set timelines on grief but I know that it gets better with time even though some days I wake up and the memory is as fresh as though it has just happened.
This is a stressful time not just in the homes across the nation but all over the world. For most people this has been the longest that they have stayed at home when they are not on annual leave or holiday, and at the moment they are not staying in because they choose to but because they need to, for their own safety and all those around them.
There is nowhere to escape to, no gym, no pub and no mates houses to go and hangout when one needs a place a distraction.
My friends and I have been chatting a lot on WhatsApp and Messenger and I will share with you some of the tips we have been talking about and find useful.
Try to have a morning workout
Some stretches and gentle exercises would be good to do in the morning before you get start checking your email and getting down to work.
If you have children you may choose to exercise before they wake and have that as your ‘me time’ or if they are at an age where they enjoy exercising, then make it into a family activity and you can bond with your family through exercise.
2. Shower and change daily
We have been joking around a lot about waking at 7.57am and being at our desks at 8am, but it’s very important to shower and change before we start working or doing our other duties. It actually makes you feel better.
3. Maintain a routine
If you don’t know what you’re doing from one day to the next you will start to get overwhelmed and not finish your projects if you are working from home.
Keep your bedtimes and wake up time the same as you would if you are working in an office or commute. That way it will also be easy for you to make the transition back to the office when the time comes.
4. Take a break
Take a break from work as you would in the office and stretch your legs. If you have a garden or balcony thats good because you can get some air but if not you can still pause and put the kettle on.
5. Switch of the telly during work time
I am guilty of having the news on the loop all day but I am aware of what a distraction that is. The best advice is to catch up with the morning news, we all need to know what is happing around us and then get on with what we need to do.
6. Switch off work devices during down time or family time
It is easy to get caught up in work and let it over lap onto rest time when we are working from home but it’s equally important to maintain our working hours and then put our work away in order to rest and catch up with the news, our kids and our friends.
7. Find a good book to read
Most people buy books and don’t read them, now is the time to find those books and enjoy some quiet time.
You can also read audio books, e-books or your favourite blogs and listen to podcasts.
8. Play games and do some crafts
Many people play games on their mobiles, my nephew loves video games and if you have cards, monopoly or scrabble, now is the time to pull them out and get everyone involved.
Pull out those crafting projects you have been meaning to finish for years and complete them.
9. Meditate and practice relaxation
Find a quiet place and meditate, pray or listen to some soothing music to unwind as that can help you to slow down and relieve some of your stress.
10. Have a long bath or shower
Having a long bath or shower can be calming at the end of the day so treat yourself to a relaxing bath or a nice shower and change into comfortable clothes then you can chill out.
11. Cook your meals
Try some simple recipes and cook yourself some nice meals. It’s so easy to snack when we are stuck at home so managing eating times and what we snack on is important. Make use of the stuff in your freezers and cupboard and experiment with herbs and spices.
12. Clean your space
It would be helpful if you clean your work and living space and have it tidy so that its more pleasant to stay in or work in. You can’t think straight when you are in cluttered or overcrowded spaces so if you live in a small place you could pick a corner that you can have as a safe space.
13. Stay in touch with others
Keep in touch with your friends and family via mediums suitable to you and avoid passing on fake news or misleading information to each other. Support each other during this difficult time.
14. Know your limits
It’s easy to tick checklists and listen to other peoples advice but ultimately it lies with you. You have to know and understand what you can do and what you can’t do during this difficult time and do what works for you and the people around you.
Social distancing, self isolation, quarantine and many more words that encourage people to stay safe during the Covid-19 pandemic have been on the media as schools and businesses shut down and people go on a rampage to buy as much supplies as they can in the event of a lock down.
This is a very scary time for many and like most infectious diseases, the impact of the coronavirus can affect our mental health.
We have been advised by the government to stay at home except to pick up essentials, like food and medication or go to work if you are a stated frontline worker; to avoid being on a group of more than two at any given time and to practice safer hygiene measures like hand washing as soon as we get home if we have been out and before handling all food.
Wash your hands regularly and when you have been in public spaces
It’s upsetting to be asked to stop working, we have bills to pay and its distressing to think of what will happen going forward as no specific timeline has been given, but that we stay on lockdown for 21 days.
However, it may help to look at things a bit differently.
Firstly, use it as a time to rest and reflect. Apart from the frontline workers, most people are at home, some with their families and some alone.
You could create a new routine that fits in with your family and self care.
A lot of parents will be home schooling at this time, so it’s important that they make time to help their children with school work and also have time to rest.
Now is the time to read those books gathering dust on the shelves, trying a new recipe, catching up on movies that you have been wanting to watch for a while.
Rest, read and make time for family
While it’s good to catch up on the news, do not have it on constantly as that will make you more anxious. Don’t trawl social media and internet sites following conspiracy theories and speculation of the illness.
Watching what we eat will be a challenge in the coming weeks. When people are going to work and school they have breakfast, carry a packed lunch or pick up something light then they have dinner at home.
Now, with the lockdown and most people being at home at the same time, it’s so easy to keep going to the fridge or cupboard to grab a snack as and when one feels like.
It will be good to minimise our intake of junk foods and candy because comfort eating will only lead to more stress when people have gained weight after this period.
Eating a healthy balanced diet will be good for your physical and mental health
The gyms have been shut down and people will be wary about going out to exercise even though the government guidelines advise us to do so at least once a day, but there are a lot of YouTube channels where people can get free exercises that are easy enough to do at home and fit it in with their kids.
Staying in touch online, on the phone and on video calls with family and friends that you don’t live with would be helpful during this time of social distancing but do not share or circulate information from unreliable sources as this will cause more anxiety.
Stay in touch with others
Check on your elderly relatives and people that live alone and those that you know are vulnerable because this is going to be a very difficult time for them.
Do not stay up all night binge watching series only to spend all day in bed the next day, that will make you less productive during the day. Create a routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time each day and avoid taking your phone to bed.
Do not self diagnose or self prescribe medications. If you take prescription medication continue taking the stated dosages and do not share medication.
Do not self-medicate
If your feel your mental state is getting worse or you are worried about someone here is a list of things you can do:
You can call NHS 111 if you or someone you know needs urgent care, do not go to A and E or visit doctors surgeries at this time.
If you’re under the care of a mental health team and have a care plan that states who to contact when you need urgent care please do so.
The Samaritans have a free number to call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and you can talk to someone in confidence whenever you need to on 116 123. Calls to this number will not appear on your telephone bills.
Stay safe, stay home; as this will make it easier for the medical teams to do their work and follow the given guidelines, they are there for a reason.
Its hard opening up to friends and family about your mental health or general health issues out of fear of being judged.
No matter how much we talk about our mental health there is still so much stigma attached to it in some communities.
On my recovery journey, I have encountered a lot of different people with different views on mental health.
The religious say that if you turn to God all, your health problems will go away.
If you say you are a believer, you get accused of possibly living in sin, so the depression comes from the guilt of your sins.
Then theres the ones that sell supplements and will not take no for an answer.
I am sure if someone offered me to have a trial of something and see how I felt, I would probably try and possibly buy if I liked the product.
But the persistence and the negative talk of antidepressants in their quest to make a sale is enough to trigger my anxiety when I have to be in the same place with them.
Don’t even get me started on the constant follow ups and links to testimonials where some people were cured by these supplements.
I have come to realise that we are all different, there is not a one size fits all approach in the management and recovery of any mental health condition.
What works for one person may not work for the next.
How good would it be to drink a sachet of syrup and all my illnesses disappear?
The only downside is that you will be set back at least a couple of hundred pounds each month for some things in the name of ‘your health is your wealth” and you will be encouraged to sign up to sell the products so that you can get them cheaper for yourself, which may not be helpful to your health if you don’t sell and are help responsible not pulling your weight to meet enough people.
The digital age has made us live in a fast paced world with access to information on the internet and everyone tends to be a google doctor.
It’s important not to self diagnose when you have symptoms and see your medical practitioners to get help.
There are supportive networks that you can join ; where most people have experience with mental health from personal experience or being care givers.
There are people who will be there for you and some who will not want to hear about your mental health, it is important to choose your company wisely.
It has been a few weeks since I sat down to write and publish an article.
Countless times I have picked up my laptop and started writing but I cant seem to be happy with my work and have just sent the documents to drafts, however today I woke up early and decided to go to the gym.
When I was packing my bag, I had this brilliant idea to pack my laptop and do some of my work in the business centre at the gym as I had a free day and thought maybe I would get inspired to write again.
Well, at 6.45am I was sweating in the body pump class but it felt good to be out of bed and getting out of my comfort zone.
I showered, got myself a grande latte and set myself up in the business centre and worked until about midday then I ordered brunch, which was really a late breakfast.
After paying £11 pounds for the club breakfast, the fitness centres glorified version of a full English breakfast. I was disappointed at the food, which had a soggy portobello mushroom and a bland grilled tomato… yuck!
The poached eggs were okay though and I chugged another latte; more caffeine!
Heres to another night where I toss and turn wondering why I cant relax.
As much as I enjoy coffees, I have learnt that for me, they are a stimulant and not good for me so I am struggling between a dependency on caffeine and trying to control my emotional health.
I resumed my project and was finished around 3 o’clock when I took a break then I couldn’t help but notice that there was music playing in the business centre and it was really annoying.
Now, I am still here and I cant even say anything because I am not even sure if the music was playing earlier when I came in and I didn’t hear it, but its so cheesy and irritating.
Seriously, I don’t think it was this bad or this loud in the morning or even there at all; but it’s such a distraction, considering I was hoping that my change of environment would help me to focus.
The main reason I am still here is that I know that if I go home without sending this to publish it will get lost in drafts again.
So to everyone that reads my blog, this is my rant for the day.
I am packing up and going to get stuck in rush hour traffic but at least I can get to listen to what I like on the way home or not listen to anything at all.
