Inspiration Experience Support
Welcome to suggestion #12 on curing depression. I’ve got a word for you fellow depressors: Mindfulness. Have you heard that one lately? I don’t even social media that much since realizing it contributed an unhealthy amount to my negative self-image and my -sorry; rambling. I don’t get around much, and even I saw that word everywhere. […]
The Destiny’s Child singer Michelle Williams, who has previously spoken about her depression and feeling suicidal has checked into a mental health facility for treatment.
It is not very easy for people of colour to talk about their feelings especially when struggling with depression. Their symptoms are usually attributed to weakness, laziness and attention seeking.
Most times, we only find out when someone has taken their own life that they have been suffering in silence. Michelle has shown immense strength in speaking out and and hopefully it will encourage other people to seek the help that they need.
The 37 year old singer confirmed on her social media pages;
There are people who will say Michelle Williams has had a great life, successful career and recently got engaged to her fiancee; what has she got to be depressed about?
But, depression is not about how much or how little you have. It is a neurological disease associated with the dysfunction of specific brain regions and not simply a consequence of a bad lifestyle and psychological weakness.
Depression brings feelings of sadness and a loss of interest in activities that one once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home.
Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:
The stigma surrounding mental health can worsen someone’€s problems and impede their recovery. It affects their employability and social inclusion in mainstream society.
People are encouraged to talk about how they feel, but the greatest difficulty is finding who to talk to and who to trust.
Today social media is abuzz with all the support for Michelle Williams, she has done the right thing in taking time to focus on her recovery as she has been struggling for a while but; she didn’t stop encouraging others’ to take care of their mental health.
Let us continue to talk about it and get help when we need it, for ourselves and, for our loved ones. Help is always at hand. You can make an appointment to see your GP or call NHS on 111. The Samaritans are on call on 116 123 for 24-hour confidential, non-judgemental emotional support.
See some other organisations that can help with mental health issues.
Sources: Harvard Health; Mentalhealth.org; Mind.org.uk
When you feel like there is no choice
Choose life
In the midst of a storm and you feel all alone
Choose life
When you think you have reached breaking point
Choose life
When you feel like a failure
Choose life
When that break up hurts so bad, choose you
Choose life
Times can get hard, but
Choose life
When you get overwhelmed by life’s problems
Choose life
When you are plagued by unhealthy thoughts
Choose life
When you feel like you are out of solutions
Choose life
When you think that no one will listen, there is always support
Choose life
Staying silent isn’t being strong, speaking out is
Choose life
Earlier today the news emerged that designer Kate Spade had taken her own life, leaving a 13 year old daughter and husband.
A child has lost a mother, a husband has lost a wife, irrespective of their marital problems.
Suicide is a choice they say.. But is it?
People that die of suicide will not be thinking straight at their time of death, their mental illnesses cause them to reach that point.
It is evident she was not in a happy place because she would not have ended her life and left a teenage child without a mother.
No matter what she wrote on her suicide note, the reasons are never going to be explanation enough to her family and those closest to her.
There are so many questions left unasked and unanswered. There will be so many stories that will emerge, some sympathetic, some; not so much.
No one knows what she was feeling during her last days for her to end her life the way she did.
One does not simply choose to die as though they are deciding what to make for dinner… “err, actually, I think I will die now”.
There are so many factors that cause someone to sink to a certain low, feel worthless and no matter how much they try, they feel that they are better off dead.
People who are affected by mental health disorders are more likely to commit suicide. Sometimes it is known before a persons death but sometimes it is known after.
Depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are the most common mental health disorders that contribute to suicide.
When a person is so overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and worthlessness they often think that they have no other option and start contemplating suicide.
It is hard to know how someone is feeling but there are usually tell tale signs that can indicate that they are depressed or have suicidal tendencies for instance ;
It is important to watch out for theses signs and take action to enable someone to get the help that they need and possibly prevent a tragic suicide attempt or death.
The stigma surrounding mental health and suicide makes them taboo subjects to talk about. Most people that have suicidal thoughts do not want to burden anyone with their problems so they do not reach out for fear of being judged and accused of attention seeking.
Staying silent isn’t being strong, speaking out is. Let’s stop the stigma!
Rest in peace Kate Spade
Photos by Pexels, Getty Images
Sources :healthline.org, www.suicide.org, www.thesamaritans.org
Over the last few months I have gained a significant amount of weight but nothing could have prepared me for the challenges of being a big girl in a vain world.
Its bad enough shopping for clothes or squeezing myself into control pants and almost fainting from the pressure while I drive, then to bump into someone that says, ‘Gosh you have gained so much weight!’.
How about hello, how are you?
I know I have gained weight; that cutting of my spanks reminds me of it every second that I am standing with you and dying to take it off.
Generally people are not kind to overweight people, they have been conditioned to resent people when they are overweight because there is a misconception that those people are irresponsible, they over eat and don’t look after themselves.
But weight gain is not only about eating, an imbalance in hormones can make it difficult for you to lose weight even if your are eating healthy.
Hormones control inflammation, metabolism and uptake of glucose in the body which plays a big part in weight gain. (these will be addressed in another post)
Women tend to suffer from more stress which impacts on their well being by releasing much higher levels of stress hormones. When women suffer from depression, instead of reducing sleep and the amounts they eat, they start to eat and sleep more, increasing their carbohydrate intake which results in significant weight gain.
The more weight they put on, the more guilty they become.
They become helpless, feel like failures and turn to food for comfort which leads to more weight gain.
There are so many challenges that come with being “the big girl” or boy.
A lot of overweight people pretend to be happy about their weight when they are in public, they can be the life and soul of the party but suffer when they are on their own.
People think you eat too much and even when you are hungry, you are mindful of being watched when you eat because people do comment “ahh all that food, no wonder why you put on weight”.
Where I come from, weight gain is linked to having a good life. It is assumed that you eat well and have spare cash to help other people so no one will understand you may be having health problems.
Some people are on medications that cause them to gain weight. Certain steroids and antidepressants cause weight gain. Recovery from drug and alcohol addiction comes with weight gain.
People tend to watch what they say when they come across someone that has lost a lot of weight than one that has gained weight. It is important to be mindful of what we say to each other, big, small, tall or short.
Not all illnesses are visible, be patient and kind always.
Many times when we are asked to write down the most important things in our lives, the top of our list is usually our children, families, and jobs but never ourselves.
That is because of the general misconception that putting yourself first is being selfish, as the old teaching goes – put others before yourself.
Putting yourself first is not disregarding other peoples needs, it is taking responsibility for yourself so that you can have the resources and energy to help others.
You can not prioritise someones comfort when you are not in a good place.
You can not cover someones expenses before you take care of your own.
You can not feed other people before you eat, well you can, but what good are you doing then if you can not take care of yourself but want to take care of others.
Actually when I read this back right now, part of me feels selfish for saying these things but I am done feeling guilty for learning that it is important to take care of my needs first.
Naturally, givers do not have anyone to help them out when they are in need.
Those very people that you go out of your way to help when they are down never have anything to offer during your time of need and more often than not, they do not say that because they don’t have the money or time but because they do not know how to give, only to receive.
When I first started flying, I used to wonder why during the safety demonstration before take off, we were encouraged to put on our oxygen masks first before we help the young and elderly.
It bothered me because I thought that if I was travelling with a child, I would probably break the rules and look after my child first but think about it, it only takes a few seconds to grab your own mask then you can help and do a lot more good instead of passing out before you even help anyone.
It is always good practice to give and share and look after other people but take the time to look after yourself first so that you may be able to help others without feeling under pressure or burning out from over stretching yourself.
Photos by pexels and pixaby
When asked this question, the first image that comes to mind is a worn out looking man or woman with tired, dark circled eyes that sits alone in a corner somewhere and shies away from everyone.
Another is of a teenage boy or girl that likes to dress in dark colours and has piercings and some tattoos.
But does depression really have a look?
Can we define depression by a person’s physical appearance?
When we have conversations about depression and emotional wellness a lot of people from African origins and other ethnic minorities do not want to open up about mental conditions as they consider depression to be an illness that affects only white people and are afraid of being judged, but the truth is, depression does not have a specific look.
You could ride in a bus, be in a queue at the bank or working in an office and not know if the person next to you suffers from depression because you can not tell just by looking at someone. You could be the one suffering from depression and no one may know just by looking at you.
Depression doesn’t necessarily change a persons’ appearance but the person suffering from the condition experiences a change in emotions, therefore you cannot always point them out as not all emotions have an expression and some people are good at hiding their emotions.
Even when someone expresses a certain emotion, it may not be related to depression at all, hence it is very difficult to tell if someone suffers from it or not unless it is diagnosed by a professional.
Depression is a very serious condition that can go on for years because the mood changes may come and go. It makes it difficult for one to live their life as normal as possible and carry out their daily tasks.
A one-off feeling of sadness or being down cannot be defined as depression, however, the term ‘I am so depressed’ is commonly loosely used when someone has had a challenging time or a stressful day or they didn’t get or achieve what they needed to.
Although many people with depression feel sadness, it feels much more severe than emotions that come and go in response to life events. We also cannot just conclude that someone is depressed if they seem unhappy about something.
It is a common misconception that being depressed is a choice, a luxury illness for attention seekers and sufferers are constantly being told to have a positive attitude.
Friends and loved ones often get frustrated or don’t understand why a person can’t “snap out of it.” They may even say that the person has nothing to be depressed about, they have a good job, nice family and so on.
Depression is not fun, it’s not a game, and it’s not a quirk to add to your personality because you think it’s cool. Depression is serious and ugly and affects so many people, in fact, it is a major risk factor for suicide.
Depression doesn’t just disappear, you don’t suddenly wake up and are cured. Just like any other chronic illness, some people respond well to treatment or therapy or both and some people take longer to respond or to seek treatment.
Depression knows no race, gender, age, political affiliation, marital status, financial status or religious views. Some people will be functioning well in their day to day lives and excelling in their jobs or school but still suffer from depression silently.
If you start to feel like harming yourself or that your life is not worth living, please try to get help straight away.
You can make an appointment to see your GP or call NHS on 111. The Samaritans are on call on 116 123 for 24-hour confidential, non-judgemental emotional support.
See some other organisations that can help with mental health issues.
There are days when I feel energetic and full of life. When I can do everything on my daily to-do list and more.
When my mind is sharp and my ideas seem to make sense.
When I feel like I am achieving my goals and making my deadlines.
When I am certain that all is well and everything is going to plan.
Then I have a day off or two when it feels like the world has stopped. When I keep meaning to do the laundry then leaving it for the next day.
When I receive bills and let them pile up but tell myself its not urgent until a reminder comes through the post.
When I say I will return a phone call and then forget all about it or pick up my phone and end up doing other things on it other than making that call.
When I am just doing things on autopilot, because I have to.
It is not always easy, but that is the time I have learnt to take a moment and make time for myself as I have come to realise that my mental well-being is as important as my physical well-being.
Actually, if I don’t feel well mentally, there is not much physical activity that I can do so I have come up with a few coping strategies to help me through those days and I will share them with you.
Firstly, tidy up your space
Clean your bedroom or room that you enjoy resting in. There is a possibility that when you are feeling low, you will clutter your house and not have the energy to clean up and when you are in that environment you will feel more depressed.
Get some well needed sleep
Chances are, you are tired from your busy schedule. Make it a habit to get to bed at a decent time and aim to sleep for at least 7-8 hours. Switch off alarms if its at the weekend and have a lie in.
Avoid binge watching TV programmes
I am not saying don’t watch TV but my own experiences have been that whenever I get into something that I find interesting, I can’t resist the temptation to watch ‘just one more episode’, causing me to sleep for less hours than I need.
Also, when I have binge watched a programme, I suffer from serious withdrawal symptoms when a series ends. I feel completely lost and unmotivated. That itself causes me to get very low and feel helpless after.
Meditate
When you have chosen your peaceful location, sit in silence and breathe. Pray or listen to guided meditation to help with stress, feel more present and have better sleep.
Take a break from social media
Its very tempting to spend a lot of time on social media, one video on Facebook leads to another and before you know it you have been glued to the phone for hours.
Read a book
Find a good book and read a few chapters at a time. Try not to stay up all night reading because the story line is good and you are curious to to find out what happens at the end.
Consider getting help
If you are consistently suffering from low mood and you have tried self help techniques but you are not getting any better maybe its time you paid your GP a visit and discuss your symptoms so that you may get professional help.
Depression and anxiety can easily be mistaken for laziness and complacency in some communities. Please do not suffer in silence.
Staying silent is not being strong. Speaking out is!
It is Ok to walk away from negative relationships or those that have no regards to boundaries and personal space.
